This Is Why I'm Hot

WHY

................................................................................................................................................................................................................ Understanding WHY people act and think the way they do is essential for the development of people strategy. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, We must first understand that human beings are very complicated: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, PERCEPTION - Gather Information about our world: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, We use all our senses to see, smell, hear, taste and touch the world. This sensory information is gathered, selected and organized in a unique way and this becomes our perception. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Articles on Perception So you keep collecting and interpreting life in your special way and this influences certain areas in your life. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Personality: Your personality is an organized set of characteristics that influences your thinking, motivation and behaviour in different situations ................................................................................................................................................................................................................ Motive Motivation is having the desire and willingness to do something. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Emotions Emotions create a response in the mind that arises spontaneously, rather than through conscious effort. These are essential to understanding WHY ............................................................................................................................................................................................ submitted by Kathy Thomas

The Eyes Have It

So as we move off the Body Language segment, there are some things I'd like you to remember:

• Body Language is a series of unconscious gestures that display our emotional status and thought processes.
• Most body language gestures are the same world wide but remember we are products of our culture and environment....do not jump to conclusions rashly.
• Gestures are refined or modified and become more difficult to interpret:
• as we get older and wiser
• to protect or enhance our images - public figures, speakers, , managers, teachers, lawyers, politicians etc.
• when we believe we have valid motive - if we convince ourselves that the motive is valid then we have better control over our gestures
• for deception- sales people, con artists, criminals, pathological liars
• To truly understand body language one must become an observer of people, not just specific targets:

Here are a few BL Observation exercises you should try:

• watch a favorite movie with the sound off
• sit in the car park and observe the passers by
• go to the mall or coffee shop just to observe...not just the people you are attracted to but all
• in meetings (stand up, board room etc) observe the other participants, particularly for announcements etc.
• Look for subtle signs shown by politicians, news reporters, interviewers, reality show people on tv.
• Observe, observe, observe....but don't be a stalker

submitted by Kathy Thomas

Observation:

I looked up from my book, and found my newest people reading material. At the table in front of me I began my observation of a man and woman having coffee at Starbucks. The woman (let's call her Latte) was probably late 30s, early 40s with an edgy modern short hair cut and trendy-chic clothing, blue fitted top, with similar colored scarf thrown around her neck, close fitting jeans tucked into calf hugging, high heeled boots. Latte sat straight up in her chair, one leg crossed over the other in an animated discussion, maintaining eye contact, tilting her head displaying her elongated neck. Her hands waved animatedly and on occasion she lay them open on the table, palms slightly facing. The guy, (Macchiato) with whom she had this most lively discussion, sat in the adjacent chair, his legs were firmly planted on the floor and well spread apart. He held his arms crossed in front of him and his muscular biceps were noticeable. His hair cut was somewhat military in style and he wore a simple gray tee tucked into slim fit jeans. As my intermittent observation of the couple continued I surmised that this was not a married couple. Latte I thought had, despite her chic appearance, an air of desperation....not only did she appear to eager with Macchiato, but I had seen her in the queue when she was openly flirting with the Spanish man who helped her interpret piece of Starbucks literature she was attempting to read. She spun around and lifted her face to the man at the time, asking "Are you Spanish?" his non committal answer did not seem to deter her and she moved in slightly closer on his personal space. I suspected that the clock was ticking for her. Macchiato, on the other hand, despite displaying male sexual stance had an air of protection or holding back. He definitely was less eager than she was and maintained far less eye contact. A new bit of material came to me shortly after as a young child came from the Kids Reading end of Chapters. (It's a book store-coffee shop style store) The little girl ran over to discuss something with Latte and went off back to the section of bookstore from where she had emerged. I could tell that this is what Mummy wanted as her quickly resumed her engaged animated the conversation and the uninviting body posture ( she hadn't rounded or scooped her body, but instead pushed her torso out) she displayed while the child was there. Macchiato changed his posture only slightly, he had drawn his legs closer together as if getting ready to spring into action. I didn't see when it actually happened though as shortly after I realized that Macchiato had left and that Latte was now wearing a forlorn expression ( down turned corners of her mouth) was sitting with the young child's sweater draped over her arms ...shortly after the young child appeared again and she was scooped off ....Latte and the child left together.

Interpretation:

Latte was probably a youngish probably recently divorced single mom. She is looking for a new relationship but her search is premature as she seems not to have found love of self and is desperate to fill the gap that she thinks another person can give her. When we have difficulty controlling relationships, we sometimes exercise control in other areas, her thin frame told me she was a fitness or possibly diet fanatic. The ease with which the child interpreted the "you're not supposed to be here" body language suggest that she may utilize this discipline in her mothering. Macchiato, I think, was open to sexuality of Latte, his folded arms suggested both that he was sexually potent but closed or cautious of a relationship with her. He exuded confidence and control in his posture and much as he might appreciate her disciplined body and mothering style, her basic insecurity would be a detraction.

Strategy

So, bloody hell, how is this to be useful to you. Well it depends on who you are in connection to the scene I just described. If you are Latte's girlfriend or mother, you need to help her . Encourage her to find herself and know and love that person (that's a whole other chapter). If you find Latte attractive, remember that her Latte is looking for a relationship she is going to be clingy, the void needs filling quickly. Ladies, Macchiato is probably macho, sexual prowess may be evident but emotional connections are difficult...beware.

Lesson

This observation, interpretation and Strategy only works if I read the signals correctly. The ability to read and interpret people is very complicated and the limited data I had can point me in the wrong direction. The point is though, you have to begin by being able to pick up data and interpret it. Sometimes you will hit the nail on the head sometimes you'll be totally off. I may never see Latte and Macchiato again and have not impacted them at all with my observation and interpretation. If I did see them again I would store the pre-existing data and look for more. The new data could be interpreted another way or support my interpretation ....be open to either. The point is that this reading and interpreting ability is a necessary skill and many of us do not stop to use, develop or apply these essential skills. How much better it would be if you knew what the person was saying in his hidden thoughts and subconscious or even if you tried. So next posting we'll begin exercises.